Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Randomize
