i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Randomize
