and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
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