i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Randomize
