Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
You were trust falling into bushes
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
