too bad you live with your parents still
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Randomize
