He kissed a someone with a penis
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
