i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
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