It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
can u get pink eye on your cock?
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Randomize
