his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
He? As in you personified your dick?
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Randomize
