batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
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