I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
