All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Your tits are I can't wait for
Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
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