why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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