I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Randomize
