Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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