I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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