i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Randomize