He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
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