nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
