haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
We left the knife in your bed.
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
