So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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