i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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