is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
