I think i peed on brittanys purse
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Randomize
