Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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