I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Randomize
