Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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