That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
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