if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
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