I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Randomize
