I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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