I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Randomize
