My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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