i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
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