As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
