nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Randomize
