Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I just gargled with NyQuil
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Randomize
