found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
