I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
