marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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