I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
