If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
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