Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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