i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
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