6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize
