Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
