your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize