the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize