i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize