We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
