HIV tests are more positive than that guy
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Randomize
