You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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