I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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