I hate your face
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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