I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Randomize
