I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
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