I will die if light touches me.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
Randomize
