apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Randomize
