I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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