I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
