biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
