those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
