the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
