I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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