No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Randomize